As a result of interacting with this site, you may become…
…a gym teacher
…allergic to sunlight
…able to see the difference between film and video
…an etch-a-sketch artist
…an organ donor
…fluent in Latin
…a drywall enthusiast
…sensitive to the solar wind
Caution. This site is not recommended if you have any of the following pre-existing conditions:
You are disturbed by spaghetti.
Birds suddenly appear, every time you are near.
You experience occasional periods of wetness, followed by a drying condition.
Integers give you hives.
Within the last six months, you received a ticket for driving without a vehicle.
You think you fathered Agent Scully’s baby.
You are Agent Scully’s baby.
Buffalo Bob once appeared to you in a dream.
You wear funny hats at work.
You can’t tell the difference between Colbert and Stewart.
You are riding in a train leaving Cincinnatti at 55 mph, while another train is headed toward you from Kansas City at 47 mph.
Trees fall in the woods, but you don’t hear them.
You think Cheez-Wizz would make a great denture adhesive.
Thank you, all.
Disconnect from the internet immediately , if any of the following side-effects occur:
Absence of headache.
Curling of the earlobes.
Persistent odorless flatulence.
Taste of lima beans in your mouth.
Inability to blink.
Tongue lodged in nostril.
Missing blood pressure.
Naturally curly hair (on head)